at the crossroads

Crossroads

A train rattles down the track gaining speed. On board passengers sit staring into space, stationary in their seats and yet moving ever closer to their destinations – progressing on this confusing track we call life. I blink as the wind blows up and the train rushes past me, and I can’t help wondering how I came to be at this crossroads. Everyone else seems to be moving forward and I am standing still.

I search through my bag but I’ve clearly lost my map. Should I go back and look for it? I glance ahead beyond the track. The path between the trees is obscured after the first bend, and to my right the road leads down the hill.
Not only am I not sure which path to take but I don’t know my end destination. I’m acutely aware that time is getting on and that the light is quickly fading. Panic takes hold as realisation sets in. I am lost.

I look back at the path behind me, wondering if I should head back to the place I came from. And then I remember something you said – about experimenting. You said that it’s OK to turn around if you need to, that you’ll always be there to come back to. But that sometimes bravery is stepping out and trying new things and embracing new adventures. You can try and then change your mind if you want to.

I put one foot forward and I cross over the sleepers. In doing so I derail my fear and fill my boots once more with purpose. I plod on, no wiser but brimming with confidence. A hope is planted in my heart from a friend who believes in me, someone who champions my choices and accepts me when I fail. This is the hope which leads me forward down new paths; it is also the hope which leads me home.

Crossroads is about finding your way in life. We’re in a bit of an in-between period in life at the moment. We’ve been living out of a suitcase for 6 months, staying in other people’s homes and depending upon their hospitality. Whilst that is fine for a season, there comes a point when you need a greater level of stability, and you have to commit to a certain way forward. Sometimes you don’t commit because you’re afraid of going down a path which might lead to nowhere. But if you do, surely you just turn around and go a different way?

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